Bartimeus

2007

Call me Bartimeus --
The world I see is blind,
Stumbling off away.
Catch my hand --
We fall together,
I and the unknown.

Call me Ishmael --
The life I didn't choose.
The well is dry,
The day is gone;
We lie together,
I and the unknown.

Call me destiny --
Unfinished, unresolved,
Hungry for the sky.
Counting questions,
We stand together,
I and everything no one sees.

A Day or Two

June 2007

What if this is only memories?
What if it's all too far away?
What if today leads only to tomorrow?
What if I have never known the way things are?
What if life is all incomprehensible to me?
What if tears of confusion are my only fate?

What if I forget my lines?
What if I never learned this role?
What if my timing turns out a beat behind?
What if I sing the words to the wrong tune?
What if I just never know the way things are?
What if I never even know I did it wrong?

These are the only eyes I have.
This is the only heart I own,
This language the only one I speak.
This is the only song I know.

What if I never know you never understood?

Stumbling

2007

Okay.
Let me dry my eyes;
we'll try it again.
Tell me;
take me back to where it starts.

What would You say
if I couldn't see it?
What if the only thing I see
doesn't even matter?
Would You make allowance?
Would You give me your eyes?
Would You walk away?
Would You move it closer?

I want to go with You.
Let me dry my eyes.
I want to see it --
maybe I can pretend.
I want to love You;
I want to watch You smile.

Would it be worth it
to You
to be loved
blind?

I Am Young

January 2007

I am young,
And dreams still hold their glow
For me.
The world is still a place of mystery enchanting
For me.
I have been lost, I have been found,
And wandered lost again,
And still I prefer the being lost,
For there is much to find
And I am young.

To a Day Without Words

November 2006

The end of the world,
The beginning of life.
It's not what I meant,
It's not what I said.
The words I'll never write and the things I can't remember
Are exactly what I want you to know.

Touch the sky,
Feel the sand;
Tell me what you hear,
The colors that you see.
Step out to the edge of everything you've known,
Find the weathered spaces looking back at you.

Ferry me over
As far as this much will take me.
Dip my fingers in the wind,
Stand the strength of winters past.
This story, this dance,
This part of me, this part of you --
We need to know the roots will hold.

So rolls the sea and turn the stars,
And I --
I'll never come this way again.
But when you stop and feel the throb of the empty storm,
You will know that this is where I am.

Reach

2004

I have held the stars
And touched with fingertip the moon;
I have known the wind of destiny,
And I have stumbled in the dust.
Dropped from sky to sand,
And then flown back again.

In it all my maker's touch,
The draw of love immortal --
The life within the hand --
The sallow glow of earth,
Beauty weeping in its song.
I am called to more,
But called to wait.

Where is the balance
Between this hope and trust?
Am I to hold Orion's sword,
Fighting, ready, waiting only for the sign?
Or am I to take the road marked there in dirt,
Seeking treasures others miss?
Do I leave my home to make another,
Or, scorning all lesser welcomings,
Stand strong in faith that I am here?

If I go, I lose my heart.
If I stay, I lose my mind.

I cannot tell.

Don't Take Away My Dreams

a song from years ago

I left this world at the age of five;
Traded my soul for a place to hide,
Built my own reality,
Gave my future to the strength of my futility.
How could a child so young carry a pain so strong?
I built my life on faith and fantasy --
Never knew how much my remedy was hurting me.

Please
Don't take away my dreams.

I took the pain and held it in;
Never learned to fight, never learned to win.
It's hard to face the lies destroying you
When they're the truth that you were born into.
I learned too young to build walls too strong.
Now I walk my world of fantasy,
Too afraid to chance reality and misery.

Please
Don't take away my dreams.

I'd like to feel something that's real,
But can you prove to me the love I dream?
Could you break my walls and save me from their fall?

Please
Don't take away my dreams.